Counting Heartbeats

Nick and I have spent countless days and nights together. That means we have a limitless supply of shared memories. There's a few bad moments past scattered throughout, but in general, they're all pretty great. Even the simple ones. They really are. We're a very fun couple. We act like little kids together, and it doesn't take much to make us happy. Give us a large pizza and some Mortal Kombat, and we'll be the happiest you've ever seen.
Among the endless supply of memories littered through my brain is one very special night that I always keep near and dear to my heart. Every time I look back on it, I smile. I'm smiling now just writing about it.
The night itself wasn't anything special. It was the same as all others. I had showed up at his door, like I always did, like a lost puppy waiting to fall into the arms of someone who loved me. Someone who would light me a cigarette and sit outside watching the cold depth of the night turn itself into early morning. We talked for awhile, and had some sex. We were in bed drifting to sleep, the lights were out, all was relatively quiet. That's when I heard it. 
It was Nick. He was mumbling something so gently, and quietly. The words were barely audible as they crept out of his thin, boyish lips. His head was on my chest. We rarely slept like this, but I loved when we did. It made me feel like I was the one protecting him for once. With his head turned away from me, the soft words sounded almost foreign because of how unclear they were to make out. "Nick, what are you doing?" I whispered as I ran my fingers through his soft, brown hair.
"Oh, I'm counting your heartbeats," he said, as if that was obvious. That was the cutest thing I had ever heard a guy say to me. Ever. Sure, everyone can give compliments, and tell you how much they care for you. Blah, blah, blah. No, this sweet boy one-upped every nice thing anyone else had ever said. He was falling asleep listening to my heart. The rhythmic drum of my heartbeat inside my chest was lulling him to sleep. That night, I laid down feeling like I had been the one playing protector, but it turns out he was still on guard. 
He was protecting my heart. He still is to this day. And if the two of us have any say over it, he will be the one to protect it for the rest of our lives.



This will be last daily blog post, I'm going to start writing one to two days a week. Keep yourself up to date by following my page.
Bri

Family Over Everything

My boyfriend, Nick, cares about my family as if it were his own. And, I feel the same way about his. I love his family, and I know he loves mine just as much. It's so amazing to know that. He treats my younger brother and sister as if they were his own, and they've looked to him as a big brother since the first time they met. From the very first day he ever met my family, he fit right in. It felt like he belonged there.

I had to grow up a lot before I realized how much I appreciated and loved every part of my family. I always loved them, obviously, but it took a long time to figure out that they're truly the greatest people in my life. Nick helped me to do the growing up that I needed to do. He never meant to, but through him, I came to value my family so much more than I ever would have thought possible. 
If you're ever with someone who pulls you away from your family, you're doing it wrong. No, we don't all love our families, and we can't change the one we're given. So, if it's totally not possible to love your family or his, don't force it. But, if you already have a great relationship with your family, and a man comes between that, then get the hell out of there. The person you love should strengthen the bond, not break it. Nick does that for me. My sweet heart of a boyfriend never ceases to amaze us.  





Family first, ya'll!
XoXo
Bri

And Don't You Forget It

10 Tips on Love That Will Improve the Rest of Your Life Too

1. Believe in love at first sight. Even if it has never happened to you or anyone you know; Even if the only place you have ever seen it is in the movies, believe in it anyways. Believing in fairy tales and dreams coming true isn't stupid or childish, it's hopeful. Love at first sight can happen. And knowing that will make you more optimistic overall. 

2. Don't NOT date someone because they're younger or shorter than you. Stop being so picky. You're stopping yourself from being happy for no legitimate reason at all. Broaden you're horizons. You'll be surprised what a difference it makes when you stop putting limitations on the meaningless aesthetics in your life.

3. Stop panicking over never finding love. So you're getting older, and it seems that everyone around you has already found a fairy tale relationship. Lucky bastards. What about you? Stop crying, you'll find it too. True love doesn't have a deadline, so relax. Seriously. You're freaking everybody out. Eliminating this stress in your life will minimize the rest of your problems, too.

4. Don't cheat. Not even once. In this day and age, we all know cheaters and victims of a cheater. It's almost trendy. Don't fall for a bullshit trend like that. You swear to yourself it will be a one-time thing, but once you do it that one time and get away with it, you discover how easy it is. So, you do it all the time. Now you feel comfortable being immoral because you aren't afraid of the consequences. And who knows what you'll do once you're not worried about the results of your actions? Congratulations, you have officially become a shitty person. Nobody wants that guilt.

5. Have a lot of sex. Science tells us that sex releases endorphins, and endorphins make us happy. We all know that sex makes us happy without all the fancy scientific studies. But, it does more than that. It boosts our immune system, reduces stress, and helps deplete the pain of a headache. Outside of that, you need to figure out what you want! Don't settle until you explore all options. It takes experience and experiments to be sure of what you really like. So, go ahead. You go girl.

6. Stop talking about your breakup. I know how much it sucks, and of course you need to vent. Talk to your girls, they'll have your back as always, but only for so long. We've all been through it, and it's the worst. We know. We get it. Have a drink. In fact, have a few, and stop talking about it. Go out there and have fun. The more you talk about it, the more it's on your mind. Go preoccupy yourself and your life will be better than ever in no time at all.

7. Appreciate their flaws. The man you love has flaws, just like you do. If you want him to appreciate yours, you have to do the same for him. Don't give him a hard time. Instead, learn to love those quirky things about him. If you won't ever be able to love them, then he's not the guy for you anyway. When you stop being so petty, and teach yourself to love the bad and negative aspects of a person, you'll be able to do the same for everything else. It will help you to react better to all the things in the world that piss you off.

8. Don't get jealous. You're walking down the street, holding hands with your babe, and you see him give the up-down to a skinny girl with perfect hair and huge boobs. Now you're fucking pissed, and hardly talk to him for the rest of the day. Calm down. If he wanted her and not you, he would have let go of your hand and chased that skinny bitch all the way home. Well, he didn't, did he? He's allowed to look. You do it all the time. It's human nature, and it isn't a crime. Learning to control your jealousy with your boy will help you to keep your envious wrath under wraps every where else you go.

9. Give blowjobs. This one's simple. Don't be a bitch. If you're one of those girls that hates blowjobs, you're bound to lose a lot of good relationships. If you're a stern feminist who thinks this is unfair and uncalled for, then I'm sorry. I'm sure somewhere out there exists a man who doesn't enjoy a good BJ. But usually, guys appreciate it. So be a good girlfriend and head down under. This one will reward you with the special skill known as generosity. Seriously, I'm not joking. Being a generous and caring person sometimes requires sacrificing our own happiness. Blowjobs make good practice.

10. Love fearlessly. Don't be afraid to love. Go searching for love. Fall in love. Love a man. Love a man that you're not going to end up with. Love yourself, your mom, your dad. Love openly without hesitation. Love with reckless abandon. Love your home, your pets, the sky, the earth. Love everything. Your heart can hold it all, I swear. The more you love, the less you fear. Love conquers all, or so they say. So, do it. Don't be scared of love, and you won't be quite so scared of life.


Enjoy, friends!
With much love, Bri

Strawberry Cheesecake Cupcakes

Nick had a super difficult exam yesterday, and another one this morning. He's hardly gotten any sleep and is nervous and stressed about what his test scores will be. Being the amazing girlfriend that I am, I spent the day cleaning the apartment, washing clothes, and doing dishes. Not to mention, I made these amazing strawberry cheesecake cupcakes from Duncan Hines. Because I lack an electric mixer, the frosting didn't turn out quite as it was supposed to. We don't mind, though. They're still super yummy. And obviously, it was such an easy way to brighten my baby's mood.

 

Baking goodies is always an easy way to show your guy some love. Like they always say, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Whoever said that obviously forgot to account for the man's penis...but either way, you can't go wrong with cupcakes.

Bri

Stop Worrying About Getting Your Feelings Hurt

Hi all, I hope you're all having a happy Monday!
Last night, Nick and I decided to talk about what we didn't like about each other. I know what you're thinking. That we're batshit crazy. You're most likely right about that.
I really don't know how it came about. We were laying in bed, talking. Just about everything and about nothing at the same time. It sounds confusing I guess, but I'm going to assume you know what I mean. It's good to do that every now and then. Talking like that, I mean. Sure, we talk all the time, but sometimes you just really need to talk about your feelings even when nothing at all is wrong.
So, there you have it. We're laying there, arms wrapped around each other's bodies, blankets and pillows tossed haphazardly around our big comfy bed, just saying things. Whatever we felt like saying. That's when Nick said "What's something you hate about me?"
I literally gasped because I was that shocked that he would ask something like that. "I could never hate anything about you," I answered, "Don't be an idiot."
"Well, something that you dislike or just don't love..." he was pushing for a response, so I told him to give me a minute, I would think on it. And, I did. I told him that sometimes I wish he was more wild and adventurous, more carefree, more wildly spontaneous. That was the only thing I could think of, and obviously it's not anything that actually bothers me. It was the best I could come up with, though. I made sure that before I answered, he promised to give me a response to that same question.
He didn't really want to because he was afraid to hurt my feelings, but he pinky-swore, so he didn't have any other choice but to tell me. After a few minutes, he ended up saying "It's not that I don't like it, but sometimes it makes me uneasy that the only thing you really have is me. You put your whole life into me." He went on to say that he actually loves that, but it feels like a whole lot of pressure for one person, and sometimes he wishes I would have other things that I could care about that way. Even though he was so sweet when he said it, and truly didn't mean it in a bad way, it still made me sad. I tried so, so hard not to look upset, but he knew he had hurt me in saying that. We kept talking about it, though, and it quickly became okay. He talked the sadness right out of me. 
I mean, I do understand where he's coming from by saying what he did. I know how much I have invested in him, and it's not that he doesn't have that same amount invested in me, but at least he loves other things. He has a genuine passion for other aspects of his life, and I don't have that. It's that I try not to, I just don't care about anything enough.
The moral of the story: Don't be afraid to hurt somebody's feelings. When you're in love, you do this all the time anyway completely by accident. So why not do it on purpose? Discuss what you dislike with the person that you love. It puts you on a whole new plane of honesty. It's such a pure and vulnerable moment for both sides. You're afraid to hurt the other person at the same time that you're worrying about that person hurting you. Just be gentle in doing it. Don't be stupid. It is still about love, not hate. It is supposed to be an exercise to help you rather than hurt you, so if you try it, don't take it too far. But, don't be afraid to be open. When it's over, you can heal each other's wounds, kiss the pain away, and feel oh, so satisfied with the level of communication your relationship now has.

Xo, Bri



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More To The Story

There is a lot of back story between my life with Nick as it is now. This story begins in the summer of my sophomore year of college. I had a little over a week of summer left before I would travel back to school to start classes again when I decided I wasn't going to go back. I would go back to my college town to live, but I didn't want to do the whole school thing. It just wasn't for me, I came to realize. What really pushed me to make this realization was a conversation Nick and I had a few days prior to that. We talked about my dream of living at the beach, maybe opening a bar or a surf shop and his fantasy of working for a deep sea fishing charter. "We could do that," I said. "Who says we can't?" I was being totally serious. I was actually ready to pack up and move hundreds of miles away from my home to make my dream come true. I didn't see any reason I should let anything stop me. I thought Nick believed in this plan as much as I did. I was wrong.

It's not so much that he didn't believe, but he didn't think it was possible. I wasn't scared. I rarely am. I jump into everything in my life spontaneously and open-mindedly. I like to push boundaries, be the rebel, and do things everyone else is afraid to try. For Nick, these dreams could never be possible. They would never be jobs that would support a family. He couldn't quit school. We didn't have the money. These were the excuses I was given. However, it was too late. I had made up my mind. I was quitting college. Not because I wasn't good at it or didn't like it. Simply, because I felt I didn't need it to achieve my goals.

I couldn't leave him, though. I had to stay in my college town because he was there. So, I spent that year wishing I was somewhere else. He told me so many times to go, but how could I? My life was here. I knew that even though I would be in a new place- and that was all I really ever wanted- I would never be happy if Nick was not there with me. I've spent another whole year here since then, still unsure of my future. As of right now, I do not know what I want to do with the rest of my life. Short-term or long-term. I just don't know. I work as a waitress currently, and no I don't love it. In fact, I despise it. But, right now, I don't know what else to do. I'm not in a hurry, though, I'm happy.

I know two things. One, I want to move far away, someplace I've never been with an amazing view out my window of this miraculous world. Two, I want to be with Nick. Always.

To some people, it sounds like Nick is holding me back. It may sound like some of my dreams and aspirations were put on pause because I'm waiting for him. That's not the case, though. I'm waiting for me. I need to figure out what I want to do before I can make any major adjustments in my life, and Nick helps me to do that.

When Nick graduates and moves away, I will go with him. I would go with him to the moon and back if he asked me to. I know that someday I'll figure out what it is that I want. I already know who I want. The rest is taking a bit longer to figure out, but I'm working on it. I'll never want a real career, anyway, just something to keep me busy, but not suck the life out of me. God, am I thankful for a man like Nick that accepts me and my carefree ways.

Love, Bri

It's Probably No Biggie

Living together. Wow. Where to begin? Nick and I have officially had our first apartment together since this past May. That's about four months. However, since we were both home for the majority of our summer, we have really only been living here together for a little over a month. And, it is fantastic. 

Before we moved in, we wondered how it would change our relationship. Nick thought he wouldn't get enough alone time, and I thought we would get into a lot of fights about little things. Boy, am I surprised. I can honestly say this is the best our relationship has ever been. We haven't fought about a single thing the entire time we've lived here thus far. We split the chores and grocery shop together. It all feels so mature; so adult. Now, I'm far from the most mature person I know. And, when I say far, I'm talking really fucking far. However, my living situation is better than I would have ever thought. I love it more than anything, and I am incredibly happy.

Despite how happy I am, I feel as though, maybe I am not giving Nick enough space. He's a guy, and he wants his guy time. That is perfectly okay, but I tend to forget that. I could be with him all day, every day and never get sick of it. I mean that 100%. I don't need anything more than to be with him to be happy, but he likes a bit of alone time now and then.

When you're with your guy, and he wants to be alone, or gets bored of the same routine every day, whether you live together or are just with each other very often, don't panic. It's probably nothing. The most important thing to remember is that he's not bored of you. He's just looking to mix things up a bit. As much as you love to spend every minute with him, it's okay to let him go off and do his own thing without you. Go stay at a friend's place for the night. Give him the treat of the whole bed! It doesn't sound like a lot, but I guarantee he'll appreciate it.

I struggle with these things with Nick. I never go anywhere else, I just want to be with him all the time. Then, I get worried because I feel like he gets bored. I know, though, that he's not bored or upset, he just isn't a girl. He doesn't want to lay in bed and cuddle all day, and that's perfectly okay. Just remember to never freak out, because girls tend to get worked up over problems that don't even exist. Living together is a lot to handle sometimes, but relax, no matter what seems to be wrong, it's probably not a big deal.

Bri

Just a Reminder

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.” 

― Pablo Neruda

Just a remainder to follow my blog! Follow it on Bloglovin here, or follow it through Google over on the right sidebar! Also, I would love for you all to send me your thoughts, personal stories, and questions at lovelusteverything@yahoo.com. I'm hoping to start a Q&A segment soon!

Love, Bri

A Moment That Defined Forever

It doesn't feel like it was very long ago when I was sitting in Nick's apartment, cuddled up in his fuzzy red blanket on his bed, watching him play his guitar. Every night was the same. We would have so much fun together, staying up most of the night. Streaming movies online, listening to new music, doing homework together; no matter what we did, the connection between us was unlike any I had ever had with another person. 
We would meet up a few times during the day. For coffee, for lunch, or just for a few minutes to say hi in passing. We would go to parties together at night. And, of course, the best part- we would have big kid sleepovers every single night. Sleepovers full of cuddling, sex, and very little sleep. The very best kind. I was comfortable with what we had. I loved every minute of it. However, I believed that it would never be anything more than that. We loved each other all along, we shared so many feelings, not to mention how great our physical relationship had been from the very beginning. I thought that was all it was, though. I was under the impression that Nick would never be ready to call me his girlfriend. I thought we would never end up dating; that we would only hang out and hang out some more until he eventually got tired of that and we fizzled out.
That is why it's an understatement to say he caught me off guard when he finally asked me out. It was February 21st, 2012. Roughly three in the morning. We had just gotten done having sex. His body pressed against mine as he laid on top of me. Two sweaty bodies breathing in unison, staring into one another's eyes, in the darkness. Just enough moonlight sneaking in from the window to see each other's faces. This was nothing special. But then, all of a sudden, he kissed my face and whispered through the blackness of the room, "Be with me."
Just like that. He never gave me a choice, not that I even had one to make. It hadn't been my choice from the first moment I laid eyes on him six months earlier. Not only was I already with him, but I was his. Completely.
That must have been why I didn't answer. This was the moment I was waiting for, for what felt like forever. It's not that I didn't want to answer. I wanted to more than anything I've ever wanted. Up until that moment, though, I never knew what it meant to truly be speechless. Right then, I was speechless. I physically couldn't get a word out; they were sticking in my throat. As soon as he said those three words, it felt like my heart stopped and my throat closed up. I could hardly believe it. It felt so surreal. How long I was actually silent, I don't know. I just stared at him, though, for what felt like an hour. Finally I wiggled my arms out from under him, and gently wrapped my fingers around his warm, smooth neck. I kissed him hard, but softly at the same time. "Yes," I finally mustered. "I will. I want to."
I wanted to cry. This was the happiest I could ever remember being. He pulled me in, holding me so close to his heart, and if I wasn't sure about what we had before this, I certainly was now. I knew then that nothing would ever be able to break what we had. This was meant to be. This was real. It was true love.

Have any of you ever had a moment like this?
XoXo,
Bri

It's Actually Never Too Soon

I remember scrolling through my Facebook news feed so many times, seeing couples who had only been dating for two weeks posting, "OMG, I love you forever," all over one another's wall. You have to be kidding me, I would think to myself. They've been together for, like what? A minute? As it turns out, falling in love changed how I saw these people and their shockingly quick love for each other.
Now, I admit, of course, people do take the word "love" for granted. We throw it out on a daily basis, over little things that we probably don't really have an undying passion for. We hear "Hate is a strong word" all the time, but no one every says anything about "love" being a strong word. Love is even stronger than hate, if you ask me. Yet, somehow, we forget that. There are people who undoubtedly overuse the word "love" and more importantly the phrase, "I Love You." They say it to people who are still practically strangers to them. That will always happen, but we shouldn't be so quick to judge those that are more apt to throw the word around. Maybe all those people that we think are being irrational just know something that we don't.
Nick and I were together for six months before we became "official." I don't even know what that means. It took us six whole months before we decided people could refer to us a couple. We gave ourselves the titles of boyfriend and girlfriend, and it was finally okay to say that we were dating. But what about the six months before that? We were falling head-over-heels in love with each other the whole damn time, but apparently those six amazing months don't count because we weren't "official." 
Well, this is how I learned that things aren't always as they appear. Nick and I were saying "I love you" five days after we stared officially dating. That's right. Five days. To the rest of the world, this would look as though we were dating for five days, and then decided we loved each other. That's not the truth of it, though. The truth is we fell in love long before the world knew us to be a couple. We loved one another for the entire six months. That first time he said I love you, and I said it back, I realized that it really is never too soon to say I love you. What we should be more worried about is saying it too late. What harm is there in saying I love you to someone that we don't love, or saying it before we truly love a person? Who decided that was unacceptable? If you ask me, society is wrong to scorn those who love so freely and willingly.
Say "I Love You." Say it often and loudly. Say it because you mean it, even if everyone else thinks that you don't. We shouldn't be afraid of those words. They are nothing more that, they are words. They can't hurt us. Sure, admitting that we love something or someone makes us more vulnerable, more naked. We shouldn't run from those emotions, though. We should embrace them. Maybe if none of us were afraid of being in love or opening our mouths and telling everybody that we're in love, the world would be just a little better off.
What do you guys think? Share your thoughts with me at lovelusteverything@yahoo.com

Love, Bri <3




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I Guess This is Growing Up

So, just the other day my boyfriend told me that his ex-girlfriend had just gotten engaged. Engaged? Really? That's crazy to me. What if Nick and her were still together? Does that mean that Nick would be ready to get engaged at this point in his life, too, if only because she was? Regardless, it blows my mind.

People my age are starting to get engaged and have kids, and I can't get over it. When did we all get old enough to do those things? I live with my boyfriend, take care of my own dog, and support myself. Still, I feel so young at heart. I don't feel old enough to have any real responsibilities. When did this happen to us? I remember my first crush like it just happened. I feel like I just found who I thought was my first love or just experienced what I thought to be my first heartbreak, and now I'm going to weddings and baby showers. When did we turn in to these adults that we were all dying to be?  I hate it.

The worst part about it, though, is that I'm not too far off. I can't say that I don't think about getting married. I think about it pretty frequently, and that's something I never even really had in the cards for myself. My, how we change. Not only that, but I am probably one of those people everyone else is talking about being in the next stage of my life. I do live with my boyfriend, after all. That is a pretty big commitment, and it's something most people won't do until they are quite a bit older. 

It's not that any of this is a bad thing, but it sure is a hard thing to grasp. I'm not scared to get old or anything like that, but I can't help but be a little freaked out by how quickly we're all growing up. Think about the fact that most of our parents were our age or a few years older when they had us. What? No way. There is no way I want to think about that yet. I don't know what the next few years will have in store for me. At this rate, the possibilities are limitless. All I know, is that I am so happy I have someone to love me though it all.

Xo, Bri

Salvation

Hello all,

I hope everyone had a decent Monday. I'm sharing another music video with everyone today. This is something I only discovered recently, so it doesn't have much of a story behind it, but it really is a powerful song. Absolutely beautifully composed, Gabrielle Aplin has such a soft voice and the overall feel of the song is super emotional. It is an awesome sing-a-long that everyone will be able to relate to, whether you have a significant other or not. Listen to "Salvation" below, and let me know what you think!

With much love, Bri

How To Date a Country Boy

My baby is an outdoorsman. Fishing, hunting, talking about fishing and hunting, buying fishing and hunting gear, walking in the woods, taking pictures in the woods, wearing camo, buying camo, watching shows about fishing and hunting, etc. This is what he loves. For me, growing up in bumfuck, nowhere, I get it. I know why people love this stuff, but I never really did. Sure, I'll do it, but not very often. 
Where I live, everyone that I know has either done these things once or does them all the time. It is simply just the way it goes, and there's nothing wrong with that. The lifestyles people favor are different everywhere. Dating a country boy like Nick, I have found myself with a real appreciation for these sorts of hobbies. No, I don't love them, and probably never will. However, I do love the way he feels about them.
I love his passion for the outdoors. When he is happy, I am too, and when he's doing any of those things, he is most definitely happy. It makes me smile, watching how serious he is about what he loves. He gets so excited for fishing and hunting season. I really don't have anything that I love the way he loves being outdoors, doing all of those manly things. He is dedicated and devoted to always being better and having the best equipment. I don't have that same burning desire for anything. It is beautiful to watch. I love the joy it brings him.

When your man loves something, don't try to stop him from loving it. You may not always like his hobby, whatever it may be, but if he is passionate about something, don't ever take that away from him. If you don't complain about what he loves to do, he won't complain about your favorite things either. If he wants to take you with him to do what he loves, don't underestimate the importance of that. That's huge! He wants you to be a part of the biggest part of his life. You might not ever enjoy the same things he does, but learn to appreciate them. Appreciate what he does and why he does them. Respect him for that. Guys aren't hard to take care of. Don't try to change them. You want to do the things you want and so do they. Once you learn to acknowledge and take pride in the things he loves to do, you'll both be a whole lot happier.

Bri

Don't Be Afraid To Open Your Heart

Often times, there are things on my mind that I don't say. I have so many emotions that I don't share with Nick simply because it's easier that way. I have a lot of feelings. I'm a girl. We're like that sometimes. He always knows when I'm silencing myself, and he does his best to get it out of me. Eventually, I come around and tell him whats bugging me. I shouldn't be afraid to tell him from the beginning, though. I should just lay it on the table. We all should. It's okay to be emotional and to say what's on our mind. I recently came across this amazing Zooey Deschanel quote that sums this up perfectly:

“Being tender and open is beautiful. As a woman, I feel continually shhh’ed. Too sensitive. Too mushy. Too wishy washy. Blah blah. Don’t let someone steal your tenderness. Don’t allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart. Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things.”

This is beautiful. Keep this in mind. Don't ever let anyone or anything stop you from displaying your emotions.

Bri 

"If I Know You Like I Think I Do" -a poem

Happy Friday the Thirteenth, my little lovebirds. For today's post, I want to share with you a poem I wrote over a year ago. It speaks of the familiarity I felt with Nick upon first meeting him. It was as if I had known him my whole life, as if he had been there for every major event, even though for most of our lives we never even knew the other existed. This poem is about the heart overpowering the mind.

If I Know You Like I Think I Do

If you’re wearing that same old ragged sweater

The one with the frayed sleeves 

That you can hardly go a day without

Then I’m talking to you

I’m talking to you

Because, I think, out of all the faces

You’ll be the one to truly understand

I recall that day so well

I was young, my hands were small

The ice cream melted on the table while I waited

There was panic on their faces

I think you know that feeling of helplessness

I remember when

I rode the ferris wheel for the first time

The big one

The one overlooking the ocean

I finally felt free, the way the breeze danced on my skin

I imagine you being there, too, feeling oh, so free

There was that time on the dark winding road

The rain fell more rapidly than I was used to

My friends at home watching TV while my sister and I 

Held a one-car street race with the roads at their very worst

Then we were airborne

Then we weren’t, but then we were again, and

You know exactly what I’m talking about

The best of them all was the night

I was standing just close enough to the sea

The water racing towards my toes, then slowly inching back home

I felt so small, the way the world was looking at me

The only one on the shoreline

Under all of the brightest stars

You know better than anyone that this world

Holds far too much beauty for any of us to ever conceive

I’m talking to you because

I was here, and you were there, but

You were always feeling everything that I was feeling.

I hope some of you can relate, or understand and appreciate what I was trying to say through writing this. The heart brings people together in an incredible fashion. It intertwines and syncs two lives to one another. Give me some feedback, friends!

Bri

Magical Things

As we all know, falling in love often takes a substantial amount of effort from both people. It does not just fall from cupid's fluffy clouds and into our laps. We have to do everything we can to hatch our little love egg and help it to grow into something beautiful. Once we have it, it is still a challenge. It's not that it isn't easy, because it is. Real love is so simple and easy and pure, but at the same time, it takes two people constantly striving to keep the bond strong. Everyone comes to face challenges with their relationships. Petty, minor arguments and fights full of tears that last for days. It happens. It's inevitable. These wither away at that bond, though. Time wears away at it, too, and the bolts loosen.

As a couple, you have to remember to make magical things happen. Love is the most amazing of all human emotions. Through love, we can feel joy, excitement, ecstasy, disappointment, anger, sorrow, warmth, happiness. Love keeps us in tune with the emotions of another, as well as our own emotions. This is, by no means, something that should be taken for granted. Cherish it. Be proud of it. Most importantly, be willing to work for it. Make the magic happen!

Making your love magical is so much more than finding cute ways to say "I love you," and surprising one another with small tokens of appreciation. Make memories. That is where the enchantment begins. If you want something more than ordinary, take what you have, and light it on fire. Spending time doing something creative together is the quickest and surest way to tie all of the knots back together.

I remember a time Nick and I were sitting around, completely bored, and decided to walk down to the river to have a rock skipping competition. No, maybe there's nothing special about that, but it was such a nice way to spend time with one another. Once, we heard about a meteor shower, so we waited until late at night and drove and drove until we found a perfectly dark place beside a lake. Even though it was the middle of winter, we sat outside talking and keeping each other warm under the shooting stars until the early morning. Another time, we climbed to the roof of a building downtown and sat high above the rest of the city just watching everyone on the streets below. We were filthy from sitting on the roof so we showered together afterwards to help clean the dirt off one another. This was the first time we had ever showered together, and it was so much more special than it could have been because of the night that led up to it. All of these are such simple activities, but they are magnificent memories. They are things of magic.

Never lose the sense of wonder and magic that your love is capable of. It is truly what love is all about. If you always remember that, your love can not fail.

Your girl,

Bri

Sharing Views

On a day like today, I felt the subject of sharing views would only be appropriate. Twelve years ago today was one of the most painful days in our nation's history. We were blindsided by our enemies, hit hard and hit close to home. We lost an unfathomable number of our brothers and sisters. Personally, I was very young on the date of the September 11th attacks, but I remember the events of the day vividly. I remember learning about solar eclipses in my third grade classroom. I remember the way our studies were interrupted, the way the teachers gathered together, the discomfort that hung in the air over their whispers, and the looks on their faces. As soon as I was buckled into the backseat of my mother's car, I can still picture her trying with all her might to keep her composure as she tried to explain what happened to our young, innocent little minds. She broke down. She did her best to break the news, but it came out muffled between gasps and tears.
I was young- only a child. I hadn't known anyone whose soul had been stolen by these terrorists. I couldn't understand why something like this would happen. Even so, I was terrified for years. Just like every other American, I did not feel safe in my own home. This broke our country.  We fell together, and rose from the ashes as a nation. We have tried our bests to rebuild, but what happened that day, will never be forgotten. Those that lost their lives shall live on forever in the hearts of every American. We will not forget.
Today, I spent the day in the nation's capitol, Washington, D.C. I rode on the back of my daddy's Harley into the city with hundreds of thousands of other bikers as a memorial service for all those lost and all those still fighting for our freedom, as well as a reminder to never forgot what it takes to be free.

Waiting to start the ride.

Taking over the Beltway, riding into downtown D.C.

Stopped in front of the Washington Monument.

Today, I felt so much pride for my country. I grew up in a conservative family in which I learned to value our constitutional rights. You're probably starting to wonder how any of this fits into my blog about love and relationships. The answer to that is that today, I was not only proud, but also grateful. I was grateful for all the people that share my beliefs, in particular, my wonderful Nick. Nick and I have the same views on most political subjects, and that is truly a blessing.

People form relationships with people who have different beliefs, values, and morals all the time. No, it's not unheard of or impossible, but I can tell you from firsthand experience, that it feels so much better to have someone that you can talk to about your opinions. When the person you love is willing to back you on anything and everything, when they support all that you do, and fight alongside you in your battles, you are nothing short of fortunate. Matters of our nation's government are important to me. Nick accepts that, and agrees with the way that I feel. Knowing that is a godsend. It gives me faith and hope.

It doesn't matter what you believe or don't believe. It doesn't matter if you care about politics or religion, or if you just don't care about anything at all. What matters is having someone to stand beside you and feel what you feel. Sharing the same views is not necessary, but it is convenient. Find someone who you can have a meaningful discussion about major issues with, and you will undoubtedly find yourself attracted to that person. If this person happens to be your one true love, then it's your lucky day!

Until next time, Bri

I'm All Yours, If You're All Mine

Hi guys,
So, every couple has their song, right? Well, I don't know if Nick and I have officially decided on a song, but I know the closest thing to it, and I want to share it with you. We listen to this song when we're driving in the sun, or laying in bed holding each other, and sometimes we listen to it on our own. I have always felt that it was made specifically for the two of us. The soft, romantic melody is the perfect love song. It describes the relationship between us better than anything else. Whenever we are having a hard time, I listen to "I Don't Mind" by Defeater, and I remember that we are going to do everything in our power to be together forever. True love struggles with trials and obstacles. We have to jump hurdles and surpass every difficulty thrown our way. In time, though, everything will be right. Life is not always perfect, but as long as I have my baby's hand to hold, I know that he and I can make it through anything. I hope you all enjoy this song as much as I do. What is your favorite love song??

XOXO, Bri

Playing Games

It's going to be a short post today, guys! I just recently re-watched the movie "Play the Game," and I definitely recommend it! It's a great story about, you guessed it, playing the game of love. It's funny enough that, even though its a chick flick, my boyfriend actually enjoyed it. It's much more than a comedy, though. It tells the tale of different perspectives on love and the games we play to try to win another person's heart.

In my personal opinion, it's worth watching as a reminder of what not to do. Of course, we all have our own theories of what works and what doesn't, when to tease and trick and when not to, and when to say it straight or to play hardball. Sometimes, playing with the other person's emotions will not pull them closer, but will push them away. First, be honest with yourself about how you feel, and then decide how you want to go about winning over that person you so desire.

Check out this link for more info on the movie!

Happy Monday! 
Bri

Disregard Your "Types"

Hi again!
When I first saw Nick, the reason I was so attracted to him was because he was the first guy I saw in my new college town who actually looked to be my type. He looked like the type of guy I was in to. I liked guys in bands, who played guitars, and had tattoos. I liked skater boys with lip rings. I liked boys who listened to punk and hardcore music. At least, that's what I thought I liked. I thought boys like that were "my type." Nick dressed like that. He dressed like a skater boy, and that is most definitely why I was swooning so hard. As it turns out, Nick's personality does not match his style.
My boy is a redneck, through and through. Born in the suburbs, he actually has a sense of style, and has a lot of interests outside the stereotypical country boy activities. Regardless, he is a full-blooded redneck. If I would have known that from the beginning, I may not have ever been attracted to him.
I am from a hicktown. There is a lot of land, and not a lot of people. Everyone drives trucks, goes hunting and fishing, and listens to country music. Growing up, I hated every bit of it. I despised where I was from and couldn't wait to get out. I have grown to love that place and every aspect of it, but when I first met Nick, I still hated all of it and never would have fell for a country boy. The thing is, though, I did fall for a country boy before I even figured out that that's what he was.
Nick and I are alike in every way, but we are also very different. We have different interests. Though I have come to love where I am from and that good old small town lifestyle, I am still not sure how I let a man like that steal my heart. I always would have sworn he wasn't my type. I have come to learn, though, that just like everything exciting, true love happens outside of your comfort zone. If you have been dating guys that all fall into the same category your whole life, and none of them are working out, then stop! Try something new. Move away from your "type." Limiting your options of who you can fall in love with won't make anything any easier on you. Open the doors of your heart to new faces. I promise you'll surprise yourself! 
Bri

Fighting For a Guy. The Right Guy.

Hello friends,
In my last post, I mentioned how I had to fight for him for months. That is no exaggeration. It was not easy to finally be able to call him my boyfriend. The night we met was in August 2011, we didn't start dating until February 2012. Six months! It took six whole months for everything to fall into place. This goes to show two things.
One. Never rush matters of the heart. Love does not come and go easily. You can not force it upon yourself or upon somebody else. It will fool you, trick you, play games with your mind and your spirit, it will break you and shatter you, only to build you up again. True love will take its time with you, and only succeed when you are ready. Whether you are looking for love, or falling in love, the more you try to hurry it along, the longer it will take for it to truly be perfect. Not only that, but this process is one of the most beautiful occurrences the human heart ever experiences. It hurts, sometimes, and it's never as easy as we think it will be. So, be patient and take each day as it comes.
Two. Many girls think that they deserve to be fought for; that they should be waited on hand and foot by the right man. In some ways, yes, we women do deserve that, but only as much as our men do. The thing about guys is, their brains don not operate the same way as ours. It is as simple as that. They are unable to see things the way we do. Sometimes, they forgot how important the "little things" are to us. Sometimes, they try to stop themselves from falling in love. This is what happened to me. I knew Nick loved me, but he was unsure about dating again, so it wasn't easy for our relationship to really come into full bloom. I never let up, though. There were times when I would go for quite awhile without contacting him, and other periods of time when I would show up at his house every night. I knew that I wanted him. I knew in my heart, this was they boy for me, so I refused to give up. I did everything in my power to win that boy. So girls, don't be afraid to fight. Don't be afraid to go all out if it's what you truly want. You're going to skin a few knees and shed a few tears, but if he's truly the right man for you, it will be worth it.

"you deserve flowers on your doorstep

and coffee in the morning

you deserve notes left on your dashboard

and ice cream sundaes at 3am

you deserve honesty every day

and to be kissed every hour

you deserve to be reminded

how beautiful you are"   -unknown

I can promise you this, if it's the right guy that you're fighting for, when you finally win him over, you will be rewarded with the most amazing love. Never, ever give up on true love, and it will never give up on you.

Bri<3

Fate Strikes Again

My whole life, I did not believe in love. Not at all. I was completely cynical about the idea of it. I thought that everyone who believed in stories of first kisses like magic and first loves like fairytales, were ignorant and naiive. My future goals involved living in a city, alone; no family, no soul mate, nothing. I didn't believe that one person could truly be in love with another person for their whole life. The notion seemed absurd to me. As life would have it, however, I couldn't get this kid off my mind.

Over a week had gone by, and I began talking to another guy. It was nothing serious, but we were interested enough in each other. I liked him, but not the way I liked Nick. No matter how much I tried to forget Nick, I couldn't. It was a fluke, I told myself. I didn't love him. How could I love him if I didn't even believe love existed? I tried as hard as I could to push everything I felt that night to the back of my mind. So, I hung out with this other kid a few times, and I knew how much he liked me. Finally, a little over two weeks after the last time I saw Nick, the second guy and I went to a party together. As soon as we get through the door, in the crowd of hundreds of drunk college kids, the first person I see- really see-is Nick. Are you kidding me? I thought that I had talked myself into being over him, and I was actually starting to like the guy I brought to the party. As soon as we got inside, I told the guy, and my friends to go find the keg, I was going to the bathroom, and would catch up. 

They turned their backs not a moment too soon. Nick was there, face-to-face, with me. I was so insanely happy to see him, but I hid it as best I could. I simply said, " Hey, I'm here with another guy, so don't do anything weird."

He only looked at me and asked, "Like this?" He grabbed my face- with a certain amount of force that made it feel so passionate, but gentle enough that I suddenly felt as if we were the only two people in the crowded house- and he kissed me, hard. That was our first kiss- drunk, hurried, lustful. It was perfect. After that, we were very casual the rest of the night, sometimes sneaking away to the backyard together to talk privately, and other times, leaving each other with our own groups of friends.

Later that night, I slowly, but surely ditched the other boy. I only felt a little bit bad, which may have been wrong, but I couldn't have been more thrilled. Nick and I finally ended up exchanging numbers and figuring out each other's last names. We spent a lot of alone time together, and planned to meet up again soon. I was scared that he would leave it at that, so I made him promise to text me the next day, and he did. After that, though, it wasn't easy. I had to fight for him for months.

I loved him more than I could ever have the proper words for, but I had no way of knowing how he really felt towards me. The next few months were absolutely amazing, but so painfully difficult at the same time. Through it all, we fell into the most amazing, strong, and beautiful love I have ever known to exist.

Stay tuned! Bri

Calling it Love at First Sight

That night, after he surprised me by showing up at my side, I instantly forgot about the Australians. This mystery man had me completely mesmerized. He told me all kinds of stories, about how he had been to both Australia and New Zealand. He told me all the instruments he could play, and that he was studying bio-mechanical engineering. He was blowing my mind, and looking so good while doing it. Down the road, I found out most of what he was saying were lies. I never held that against him, though, because I knew how hard he was trying to impress me. We talked and talked, and finally he told my friend and I if we needed a place to say we could crash on his couches. He was selling me on the idea, talking about going home to watch a few episodes of Weeds and feed his pet snakes. My friend could tell how interested I was so she insisted that I stay over, claiming she had plans to meet up with some other friends. After a lot of convincing, I finally agreed to go. 

This was so incredibly unlike me. I was not at all the type to just go home with a random guy. I guess the thing about it was, he didn't feel like a stranger; it didn't feel random. All of it felt right. Aside from, of course, the fact that I had no cell phone at the time. I had lost my phone a few days before at a party, and hadn't had a chance to purchase a new one yet. Regardless, I went with him. We walked and smoked a few cigarettes together. Talking with him felt like I had known him for years. It was amazing. I had never felt a connection like that with anyone before, let alone someone I had just met. 

When we got back to his house, I did get to feed his pet snakes- Carlos and Monica-and we did end up watching Weeds, but the best part about all of it was that we just laid around in his bed and talked. We didn't do anything though, there was no messing around and no pressure. We never even kissed. I couldn't believe that this incredibly attractive man invited me to stay over and never even tried anything.

When it comes down to it, I knew at the moment I saw him walking past me on the street that I loved him. I remember telling my roommate that the next day. After I came home from staying at his house in the morning, I told her about the boy, and that it was love at first sight. She looked at me like I was crazy, but love at first sight isn't what everyone believes it to be. It's different, but it's real. I didn't want to marry him the moment I saw him, I didn't see our future in his eyes, I wasn't in love with him. I did love him, though. I loved the way he dressed, walked, and smelled. I loved his voice, his perfect hair, and the way he was making up his little white lies just to get me to fall for him. That was two years ago. I loved everything about him in those first moments of our meeting, and that feeling has never faded or diminished at all.

After that first night, I loved that boy, and the only thing I knew about him was his first name. Nick.

XoXo, Bri

The Day We Met: A Story of Fate

I remember meeting him perfectly. It was during my first week of my freshman year of college. A friend and I had decided to try out one of the local bars. Waiting in line to get in, we found ourselves talking to some older guys. After a few minutes of conversation, I learned that the men we had met were male strippers. For some girls, this may have been great news, but for me, it was a cue to leave. I was not interested in the one that was trying to steal my heart- or vagina, for that matter- from the beginning, but the news of his lousy occupation pushed me over the edge. Despite this, they had promised to buy us drinks once we were inside, so, naturally, we stuck around. Of course, they were expecting us to dance with them. Instead, after collecting our drinks, we excused ourselves to the restroom, where we downed the drinks, tossed them in the trash, and scurried out the back door, before they ever had a chance to say goodbye. Typical girl move, I know, but it was all part of the path that led me to the love of my life. 
My friend and I weren't sure where to take the rest of our night, so we stopped at a vendor on the sidewalk to grab some hot dogs. While we sat and ate, a trio of Australian boys introduced themselves. Now these ones, we liked, if only for the accents. We talked with them for quite some time. I stood up to throw my garbage in to the nearest trash bin when I saw another group of boys. As they walked past us, one of them stood out to me. He wore a maroon hoodie, ripped jeans, skater shoes, and he topped it all off with a backwards RVCA hat. Saying he was my type would be an understatement. He looked good, and maybe it was only because I had a few drinks in me, but for some reason I felt he deserved to know. So, I shouted. "Hey, you look good," I said in his direction. What?! Why would I say that? I could have chose to be a normal member of the female population and gone up to politely introduce myself, but I shouted. No, not even. I catcalled. I catcalled a guy. Talk about reverse gender roles. Well, he nodded and smiled, and that was that.
I went back and joined my friend and the Aussies. About ten minutes later, mid-conversation with the three boys, I hear a whisper in my ear. "The one in the grey is faking. He's not from Australia." Startled, I whipped my head around. And, what do you know? There he was. The sexy boy in the RVCA hat. 
To be continued, my loves.....
Bri

Well, for starters....

Hi all,
My name is Brianna. I'm twenty years old, and I have absolutely no idea what I want to do or where I want to go with my future. The only thing I know for sure is that I found my soul mate, and I want to be with him forever. At the moment, I'm not 100% sure what I will be including in this blog, but I plan on telling you all about our relationship- the good and the bad. I can't wait to share the story of our love with you! <3
Along with that, please feel free to email me at lovelusteverything@yahoo.com. I would be happy to share any of your stories or pictures on my blog. Ask any questions about my relationship or yours and I will answer them to the best of my ability. Please check back soon, and I'll begin my story with you.
Lots of Love, Bri