Fate Strikes Again

My whole life, I did not believe in love. Not at all. I was completely cynical about the idea of it. I thought that everyone who believed in stories of first kisses like magic and first loves like fairytales, were ignorant and naiive. My future goals involved living in a city, alone; no family, no soul mate, nothing. I didn't believe that one person could truly be in love with another person for their whole life. The notion seemed absurd to me. As life would have it, however, I couldn't get this kid off my mind.

Over a week had gone by, and I began talking to another guy. It was nothing serious, but we were interested enough in each other. I liked him, but not the way I liked Nick. No matter how much I tried to forget Nick, I couldn't. It was a fluke, I told myself. I didn't love him. How could I love him if I didn't even believe love existed? I tried as hard as I could to push everything I felt that night to the back of my mind. So, I hung out with this other kid a few times, and I knew how much he liked me. Finally, a little over two weeks after the last time I saw Nick, the second guy and I went to a party together. As soon as we get through the door, in the crowd of hundreds of drunk college kids, the first person I see- really see-is Nick. Are you kidding me? I thought that I had talked myself into being over him, and I was actually starting to like the guy I brought to the party. As soon as we got inside, I told the guy, and my friends to go find the keg, I was going to the bathroom, and would catch up. 

They turned their backs not a moment too soon. Nick was there, face-to-face, with me. I was so insanely happy to see him, but I hid it as best I could. I simply said, " Hey, I'm here with another guy, so don't do anything weird."

He only looked at me and asked, "Like this?" He grabbed my face- with a certain amount of force that made it feel so passionate, but gentle enough that I suddenly felt as if we were the only two people in the crowded house- and he kissed me, hard. That was our first kiss- drunk, hurried, lustful. It was perfect. After that, we were very casual the rest of the night, sometimes sneaking away to the backyard together to talk privately, and other times, leaving each other with our own groups of friends.

Later that night, I slowly, but surely ditched the other boy. I only felt a little bit bad, which may have been wrong, but I couldn't have been more thrilled. Nick and I finally ended up exchanging numbers and figuring out each other's last names. We spent a lot of alone time together, and planned to meet up again soon. I was scared that he would leave it at that, so I made him promise to text me the next day, and he did. After that, though, it wasn't easy. I had to fight for him for months.

I loved him more than I could ever have the proper words for, but I had no way of knowing how he really felt towards me. The next few months were absolutely amazing, but so painfully difficult at the same time. Through it all, we fell into the most amazing, strong, and beautiful love I have ever known to exist.

Stay tuned! Bri