Communication is Key

Hey all,
Sorry it has been so long, but it's been a busy couple weeks with the holidays and all that fun shit...which reminds me, Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Black Friday!!
Today I decided to write about one of the most important aspects of a good relationship: communication. It is vital to a healthy love life. The reason this came to mind as something to talk about today, is because, it is something that has been bothering me.
I never really write about the more negative details of Nick and I's life, but there are some. To be honest, it's nothing worth complaining about because despite living together, being together 24/7, and most of all, despite our differences, we really don't have any problems. Nothing is perfect, but the relationship that we have is truly as close as it can get.
However, we have our arguments just like anyone else. It's part of life. We both get on each other's nerves sometimes, he acts like a dick, I cry like a baby. You know. I know you know. It's unavoidable. But, fortunately, I am able to say that we fight through every obstacle and fix every problem with a 100% success rate because of our amazing ability to communicate. We don't yell at each other. We simply open up and lay our problems on the table, where they belong. We're honest, and even if it's brutal, we're truthful. It's not always easy, but it's the best and most mature way to handle every situation.
Nick and I have been apart all week. It's easy to become frustrated with one another when we don't talk very often and we never have a chance to show our affection. I know that distance is something that I, personally, really struggle with. This time is no different. I miss him so much, I  get lonely, my loneliness turns into anger, I take it out on him. It never fails.
The only thing that helps is communication. Though it's harder to have great communication when we are apart and we are both busy, we have to make it happen. We just have to talk it out. If you can't do that, there is not much that you can do.

Love, Bri

Love Yourself First!

Seriously, girls, I mean it. I know, I know, you have heard this a thousand and one times, right? Well, so have I. But I don't think the meaning behind it stuck for a very long time. I want it to stick for you. So pay attention!
I can say, with all confidence, that I have a pretty decent body. It's not perfect, but neither is anyone's really. It took me my whole life to believe that, though. I go through phases. There have been times in my life where working out has literally taken over my life. Sometimes I love working out, but I don't want to feel forced to do it everyday because I feel inadequate. No matter how hard I've tried during those periods of my life, and how little I've tried at other times, I have been the same weight for years. Honestly probably five or six years. Same weight. No matter what I ate, or didn't eat. No matter how often I worked out or didn't.
And that drove me absolutely insane. The problem was, I couldn't see that I was the weight that I was supposed to be. My body was literally telling me that I was fine, but I wasn't listening. Recently, I finally found peace with my body. I don't always love it, but I don't hate it, either, and in today's society, that is saying something. There will always be times when I complain, and want to cry and scream, and worry about the little things that I simply can not change. We're girls, though. That's what we do. It's a damn curse. But overall, I'm happy.
Watching this video gave me every last bit of confidence that I was missing. This woman says it better than anyone.

Love yourself. Love yourself. Love. Your. Fucking. Self. Hopefully this woman gave you the little kick you needed to understand that you're seriously okay. You're fine. You are perfect and wonderful, and despite everything that you hate about your body, there is someone out there who is going to worship it. If you don't have any appreciation for yourself, it is going to make it damn hard for somebody else to have any.
As a girl with a boyfriend, it is my duty to tell all of you single girls that even once you have a man who loves every bit of you, loving your body is still crucial to your own peace of mind. Whenever I start to get down on myself about my body, I start thinking "I need to lose weight or Nick is going to find somebody with a better body." Okay, earth to Bri, that is so not going to happen. But those are the kind of thoughts that creep into my mind as soon as I start being negative with myself. So get comfortable, babe. Love your body, and it will in fact, love you back. <3

Love always, Bri

Love Is What We're Made Of

Since this is a blog about love, I suppose I can talk about other things that I love aside from the one man I am crazy in love with. Like for example, pizza. Or my dog. My family, the ocean, Game of Thrones, new places, dessert of any kind, snowboarding, movies, summer, thunderstorms...blah, blah, blah. 

I was thinking the other day about my grandma, and how much I miss her. G-Unit. That's what we always called her. I loved her beyond words and I miss her every day, and as I was laying there, reminiscing, my thoughts turned to how crazy it is that there are so many kinds of love. Not only that, but the emotions that love brings.

First off, how wild is it that I can say "I fucking love these right now," as I enjoy some warm, gooey homemade cinnamon rolls. I can say "I loved my Grandma," as I look at old pictures and dwell on old memories. Or I can look into Nick's eyes and say "I love you," as my heart overflows with passion and giddiness.  All three of those are so different. So totally different. The feelings I get from each of them are not even close to the same. But then, in a way, they also are. I use the verb "love" for all three, yet somehow their meanings are all unlike the others. 

That brings me to my next point. How many different emotions can possibly fit inside that one, small, four- letter word? Apparently a lot. Love is an emotion. But to me, it seems it is a category of other emotions. Love can be anything and everything and maybe even nothing at all. It can be fear, sorrow, pain, heartbreak, tension, weakness, anger. It can be enthusiasm, strength, growth, enlightenment, spontaneity, warmth. It can be no more than physical attraction or butterflies in the tummy. It can be the death of us, or our saving grace. 

Maybe everything is love. Maybe that's what this world is composed of. Because we all love something or someone. No, I'm sure every single one of you is not in love with someone right now. But you probably love your dad, or your sister, or your nephew. You might love your pet bird or your pet rock. You might love getting a letter in the mail or when a new episode of your favorite tv show airs. Maybe you love root beer. You could love smoking cigarettes, baking cupcakes, gardening. The moon, Fridays, watching fireworks, getting tattoos, exploring new places, digging for buried treasure, going to sleep at night. 

For every one of you out there afraid that you'll never find love, don't be afraid anymore. You already found it. You've had love in your heart from the instant you came into this world. Love is all around us. Embrace it. Someone out there has loved you once before, loves you now, or will love you someday. There are things in your heart that you love whether you even realize it or not. Stop searching so desperately for love. You already have it. You ARE love. We all are.

And with that, I can say, I love you all!

Have an amazing weekend,

Bri

Falling in Love

Just the other day, Nick and I celebrated our one year and eight month anniversary. Well, no, we didn't really celebrate. It was just another day. But, the point is, we have now officially been together for a year and eight months. For some of you that doesn't sound like a very long time. However, for those of you who are in or have ever been in a relationship like mine, you can understand that it feels like we have truly been together for a lifetime. I don't think anyone says it better than Christina Perri when she sings "I have loved you for a thousand years, I will love you for a thousand more." I really, really, deep down in my heart feel like I have known and loved him for thousands of years. For as long as the waves have crashed and the wind has blown. Forever and beyond it. I guess that's how it feels to have a soulmate.
Anyway, flashbacks of memories often appear in my head. The way we were different then. Two years ago, when we were still falling in love. Those memories are the absolute best. Of course, every day and every moment with him is a treasure, but nothing is like those first couple months of pure magic. There is a big difference between falling in love and being in love. And sometimes, I wish I could go back to that. 
Now, we know everything about each other, we're together 24/7, we're familiar and comfortable. But when we were still just falling for each other there was so much more risk involved. Back then, I never knew if he was going to always be there the next day or if whatever it was that we were doing would be my last memory with him, and I'm sure he felt the same about me. Nothing was concrete. We could have just been people passing through one another's lives with no major meaning. I always knew that I loved him, but back in those months of falling head over heels for one another, it was different. Everything was just a little bit more special. Maybe because we were constantly learning new things about each other. Or always trying new things together. I guess I don't know what makes it different, but it is. If you have ever heard anyone say that falling is the best part, they weren't kidding. So if any of you out there are in that fantastic stage of a relationship, enjoy it. Treasure every moment. It is the basis for the rest of your relationship together.

Happy Friday, lovlies!
Bri

A Girl's Guide to Getting (and Keeping) the Guy

Girls are always panicking when they're single. We have all been there. Don't pretend you haven't. You have. As independent as we believe ourselves to be, at some point in our lives, we find ourselves turning into complete psychopaths trying to find our soulmates. Don't feel bad, it's human nature. It happens. So, for all of you ladies out there looking for love, here are a few simple rules to remember.

1. Dont be a bitch. Don't tell him how to dress or how to eat. He's a big boy. If he needs someone to boss him around, he'll be living in his parents basement until he's 40, and you don't want that anyways. But assuming he's a normal adult man, he doesn't need or want your constant bitching. He won't find it sexy when you're rude to strangers or catty with other girls. He doesn't care about your womanly drama. And he especially isn't going to appreciate you being a bitch to his friends or to him about his friends. Don't even pretend to be bitchy. It's not attractive, it's repulsive.

2. Don't be a slut. Seriously. This one might be even more important than not being a bitch. If you actually believe a man that's boyfriend-material is okay with the two of you sharing chlamydia, then you might have to think again. I'm just going to go ahead and take a stab in the dark when I say he doesn't want your STDs/STIs. If he doesn't care whether you have any or not, there's a pretty good chance that he does. And if he does, then you don't want any of that. I do not care how ripped he is, or how nice of eyes he has, a man with no self-awareness is not the man for you. Have some pride in yourself and your lady parts. Don't go grinding on random dudes at the club, don't wear mini-skirts with no underwear, don't send nudies to people you hardly know. It's common sense. I promise if you cut your slutty shit, you're going to find an awesome guy in no time at all.

3. Be sexy. Sexy and slutty are NOT the same thing. Learn the difference. You can look drop-dead gorgeous without inviting all the boys in the neighborhood to come and see what's under your skirt. Wear a slinky dress that actually covers your lady bits. Don't be afraid of lingerie or talking about sex. Make subtle sexual innuendos in your casual barside banter. It's going to turn him on without making you sound like a prostitute. Don't have sex with him on the first night, but don't make him wait too long either. Have some drinks, but don't get hammered. If you drink too much, you are going to start acting slutty. It's unavoidable. So before you make a mess of yourself and ruin the whole sex appeal thing you were working on all night, put down your drink. Bat your eyelashes, flip your hair, think sultry. You're a rockstar.

4. Wear heels. There is not a single man on the planet who doesn't love a woman in heels. Not only do they give you some extra height, but they make your legs look killer. Your muscles instantly look more toned and defined and they're going to draw attention to that cute little tush of yours. Put a pair of heels or wedges on and look in the mirror. Even if your not the type of girl to normally wear heels, you know you look good. It's a total confidence boost. Your legs and butt look awesome, and every guy will notice. Plus, he will be able to tell comfortable you feel with yourself. It's okay to think that you're beautiful. You are. And if you know that without being too cocky, guys are going to notice. And they're going to love it.

5. Be flirty. Flirt, flirt, flirt. As girls, this is our specialty. Half the time, we don't even know we're doing it. But if for some reason you're not, then start. Don't be overbearing. Be casual. Be cool. Tell him he looks good if he does. When you're standing in the corner of the room whispering to your girl friends about how sexy the guy in the v-neck looks, you're doing it wrong. Stop telling them and tell him. He's going to love the compliment, and what's the worst that could happen? Nothing comes out of it. Well, you certainly weren't getting anything out of it when you were admiring him from afar. Don't be afraid to flirt with guys. They're going to appreciate you for making an effort.

6. Take the initiative. Just because you're a female, doesn't mean you should expect men to wait on you hand and foot. Someday it might happen...in a dream world. But don't count on it. Just because you're pretty and dressed nice does not mean they're going to come to you. So go to them. Don't be afraid to go to new places and do new things. New places and activities equal new people. New people means new guys, and hopefully attractive guys. Don't be shy or quiet or scared. You're a sexy, confident woman. So, smile, laugh, and most importantly, approach. If you stand in the shadows your whole life, you'll never achieve anything that you want. Get out there and do your thing. Talk to them before they talk to you. Be outgoing. It's a really kickass quality to have.

7. Play with his head. Take this one with a grain of salt. This is tough because it has to be done just right or it will fail miserably, and you'll probably lose the one you're after. However, if you do it correctly, you'll have your boy in the palm of your hand. And that's just where you want him, isn't it? The most important thing to remember is you have to play hard to get. Give him just enough of who you are. Go ahead and be sexy, flirt, and take the initiative, but don't let on too much. You want to know that he is interested before you walk away. Which is the major reason you don't do the dirty on the first night. Because then what's left? So keep him entertained while remaining at a distance. It's more about being mysterious than anything else. You want him to keep coming back, so leave questions unanswered and doors unopened. Don't push him too far away, but don't text him every day either. It's not as hard as it sounds. Try it out.

8. Be yourself. I know, you hate me a little bit for saying this, but it is the most important rule to remember. If you forget this one, you're a lost cause, and so is the dream boy you've been hunting. From the moment you meet him, don't pretend you're someone different. If he seems like he's a little bit edgy and that's not really your thing, but you want him to want you, do NOT pretend to be edgy. If you are the girliest girl in the entire world, go ahead and be that way. Be whatever it is that you are no matter what he is. Because whatever you do to try to fool him, somewhere down the road, the truth will be uncovered. And then there was never any sense in those little lies you made up. It was all for nothing. If you remember to stay true to the person that you are, you're going to find the one that is meant for you much quicker. Sure, you can go out of your way to change yourself for the guy you're after, but even if you get him, I can damn well bet you that he's not the one you're supposed to be with forever. Your soulmate will help you to take pride in who you really are, so you'll never have to pretend to be something that you're not. Don't ever forget that.

These all may sound a little bit repetitive. A little bit too simple, perhaps? Well yea, they are simple! They are insanely easy, yet somehow, when we lay eyes on the man of our dreams, all common sense slips away. Don't let that happen. Remember the basic rules and you'll win him over. Good luck, girlies.
Love,
Bri