A Girl's Guide to Getting (and Keeping) the Guy

Girls are always panicking when they're single. We have all been there. Don't pretend you haven't. You have. As independent as we believe ourselves to be, at some point in our lives, we find ourselves turning into complete psychopaths trying to find our soulmates. Don't feel bad, it's human nature. It happens. So, for all of you ladies out there looking for love, here are a few simple rules to remember.

1. Dont be a bitch. Don't tell him how to dress or how to eat. He's a big boy. If he needs someone to boss him around, he'll be living in his parents basement until he's 40, and you don't want that anyways. But assuming he's a normal adult man, he doesn't need or want your constant bitching. He won't find it sexy when you're rude to strangers or catty with other girls. He doesn't care about your womanly drama. And he especially isn't going to appreciate you being a bitch to his friends or to him about his friends. Don't even pretend to be bitchy. It's not attractive, it's repulsive.

2. Don't be a slut. Seriously. This one might be even more important than not being a bitch. If you actually believe a man that's boyfriend-material is okay with the two of you sharing chlamydia, then you might have to think again. I'm just going to go ahead and take a stab in the dark when I say he doesn't want your STDs/STIs. If he doesn't care whether you have any or not, there's a pretty good chance that he does. And if he does, then you don't want any of that. I do not care how ripped he is, or how nice of eyes he has, a man with no self-awareness is not the man for you. Have some pride in yourself and your lady parts. Don't go grinding on random dudes at the club, don't wear mini-skirts with no underwear, don't send nudies to people you hardly know. It's common sense. I promise if you cut your slutty shit, you're going to find an awesome guy in no time at all.

3. Be sexy. Sexy and slutty are NOT the same thing. Learn the difference. You can look drop-dead gorgeous without inviting all the boys in the neighborhood to come and see what's under your skirt. Wear a slinky dress that actually covers your lady bits. Don't be afraid of lingerie or talking about sex. Make subtle sexual innuendos in your casual barside banter. It's going to turn him on without making you sound like a prostitute. Don't have sex with him on the first night, but don't make him wait too long either. Have some drinks, but don't get hammered. If you drink too much, you are going to start acting slutty. It's unavoidable. So before you make a mess of yourself and ruin the whole sex appeal thing you were working on all night, put down your drink. Bat your eyelashes, flip your hair, think sultry. You're a rockstar.

4. Wear heels. There is not a single man on the planet who doesn't love a woman in heels. Not only do they give you some extra height, but they make your legs look killer. Your muscles instantly look more toned and defined and they're going to draw attention to that cute little tush of yours. Put a pair of heels or wedges on and look in the mirror. Even if your not the type of girl to normally wear heels, you know you look good. It's a total confidence boost. Your legs and butt look awesome, and every guy will notice. Plus, he will be able to tell comfortable you feel with yourself. It's okay to think that you're beautiful. You are. And if you know that without being too cocky, guys are going to notice. And they're going to love it.

5. Be flirty. Flirt, flirt, flirt. As girls, this is our specialty. Half the time, we don't even know we're doing it. But if for some reason you're not, then start. Don't be overbearing. Be casual. Be cool. Tell him he looks good if he does. When you're standing in the corner of the room whispering to your girl friends about how sexy the guy in the v-neck looks, you're doing it wrong. Stop telling them and tell him. He's going to love the compliment, and what's the worst that could happen? Nothing comes out of it. Well, you certainly weren't getting anything out of it when you were admiring him from afar. Don't be afraid to flirt with guys. They're going to appreciate you for making an effort.

6. Take the initiative. Just because you're a female, doesn't mean you should expect men to wait on you hand and foot. Someday it might happen...in a dream world. But don't count on it. Just because you're pretty and dressed nice does not mean they're going to come to you. So go to them. Don't be afraid to go to new places and do new things. New places and activities equal new people. New people means new guys, and hopefully attractive guys. Don't be shy or quiet or scared. You're a sexy, confident woman. So, smile, laugh, and most importantly, approach. If you stand in the shadows your whole life, you'll never achieve anything that you want. Get out there and do your thing. Talk to them before they talk to you. Be outgoing. It's a really kickass quality to have.

7. Play with his head. Take this one with a grain of salt. This is tough because it has to be done just right or it will fail miserably, and you'll probably lose the one you're after. However, if you do it correctly, you'll have your boy in the palm of your hand. And that's just where you want him, isn't it? The most important thing to remember is you have to play hard to get. Give him just enough of who you are. Go ahead and be sexy, flirt, and take the initiative, but don't let on too much. You want to know that he is interested before you walk away. Which is the major reason you don't do the dirty on the first night. Because then what's left? So keep him entertained while remaining at a distance. It's more about being mysterious than anything else. You want him to keep coming back, so leave questions unanswered and doors unopened. Don't push him too far away, but don't text him every day either. It's not as hard as it sounds. Try it out.

8. Be yourself. I know, you hate me a little bit for saying this, but it is the most important rule to remember. If you forget this one, you're a lost cause, and so is the dream boy you've been hunting. From the moment you meet him, don't pretend you're someone different. If he seems like he's a little bit edgy and that's not really your thing, but you want him to want you, do NOT pretend to be edgy. If you are the girliest girl in the entire world, go ahead and be that way. Be whatever it is that you are no matter what he is. Because whatever you do to try to fool him, somewhere down the road, the truth will be uncovered. And then there was never any sense in those little lies you made up. It was all for nothing. If you remember to stay true to the person that you are, you're going to find the one that is meant for you much quicker. Sure, you can go out of your way to change yourself for the guy you're after, but even if you get him, I can damn well bet you that he's not the one you're supposed to be with forever. Your soulmate will help you to take pride in who you really are, so you'll never have to pretend to be something that you're not. Don't ever forget that.

These all may sound a little bit repetitive. A little bit too simple, perhaps? Well yea, they are simple! They are insanely easy, yet somehow, when we lay eyes on the man of our dreams, all common sense slips away. Don't let that happen. Remember the basic rules and you'll win him over. Good luck, girlies.
Love,
Bri